WANTcast Episode 023: On Confronting Fear, Fighting The Good Fight + The Return Of Chivalry with Danielle Beinstein

WANTcast Episode 023: On Confronting Fear, Fighting The Good Fight + The Return Of Chivalry with Danielle Beinstein

Community the WANTcast

For this episode, I wanted to talk about the state of affairs post-election – but I didn’t want to simply have a conversation about how scary things are over and over. I think that we’ve all had enough of that. I wanted to have an in-depth conversation with someone who could speak to the nitty-gritty details and logistics of it all way more than I could…someone who (preferably) had an inside look into politics, and also (preferably) was in the business of mindfulness. Because in order to change minds and change lives, we can’t speak in vague terms. We need to be able to articulate why exactly things are as terrifying as they are, and we need to be solution oriented and determined to mobilize in a way that works for us.

Like I said last week, what I’ve been doing is trying to pay as close attention as possible and decipher what people need most right now. What is not being talked about. And how I can help.

I knew that Danielle Beinstein would be the perfect person to have this kind of conversation with. Dani is a meditation teacher and astrologer in Los Angeles – and go figure, also has a background in politics! You might remember her from Episode Two, which is still one of the most downloaded episodes…so if you haven’t listened to that definitely put it on your to do list.

confronting-fear

In this episode, we dive into what’s going on in the country, we explore why exactly this is so terrifying (like, actually break it down, not just get worked up about it being terrifying and get ourselves more and more anxious along with you), what we need to know about the way our government is set up, what astrology has to say about this time in history (it’s mind-blowing), the deal with and danger in “spiritual bypass,” what we can do about it all, and how to talk to those who might have different viewpoints than we do. It’s the perfect episode to air right before Thanksgiving and the holiday season kicks – a time during which you might be spending time with people who not only have different views than your own, but with people you usually don’t have emotional, impassioned conversations with in the first place.

Plus Dani has a fascinating theory on the return of chivalry, and what men’s role is during this incredibly fascinating time. I’m SO pumped about this conversation and know I’ll be listening multiple times to really soak it in. You should, too.

WANT DANI:

Listen in iTunes | Play in new window | Direct download

SHOW NOTES:
Website
Instagram
Book a coaching session
 (Dani read my chart and it was an eye-opening experience!)

Unplug Meditation
Dani’s first WANTcast episode
Emily Greener on the WANTcast
How To Help Others Empathize

No amount of Likes can make up for a lack of integrity. -Danielle Beinstein Click To Tweet

WANT to support the WANTcast? Click over to Amazon via this link, then shop as usual. I will receive a small-but-meaningful kickback, which means we can invest in things like sound editing, new equipment, and more. No extra charge to you. Easy as that!

Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. The more you share, the more Dani’s message can be heard. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself!

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The WANTcast Episode 002: On Honoring Your Personality Type + Following Your Own Path with Astrologer Danielle Beinstein

The WANTcast Episode 002: On Honoring Your Personality Type + Following Your Own Path with Astrologer Danielle Beinstein

Body Community Love the WANTcast Work

I can’t believe we’re already into Episode Two.

Even moreso, I can’t believe how you’ve been responding after just ONE episode.

Thank you so, so much for the outpouring of support and for tuning into that very first episode with Delia Brown. It was so special to me and to her, and it was so incredible to hear how moved you were, too.

I can’t thank you enough for spreading the word about the WANTcast – apparently, there aren’t a lot of wellness-minded podcasts, and even less run by women, which is kind of crazy to me. It’s truly such an honor that you’re choosing to spend an hour of your time with me and the guests on this wild ride.

new-moon-journal

This week’s WANTcast guest is Danielle Beinstein, an LA-based Astrologer, meditation coach, spiritual counselor, writer, and co-founder of the New Moon Circle in Venice Beach, CA, which gives women a sacred space to set intentions, form bonds, and heal their lives from the inside out (on the new moon of each month, of course).

When I met Dani a few months back at a cocktail party (celebrating Meredith Baird’s new cookbook!), I could just tell we were supposed to be in each other’s lives.

Maybe it was because she was, like me, an introvert usually confused for an extrovert, was also an HSP, or a highly sensitive person (also like me), and approached a topic I’m fascinated by – astrology – from such an intellectual, personal, and pragmatic way. A way that even the most hippie-dippie-averse people could relate to.

Turns out, she has a crazy academic and business background, so something I really wanted to talk to her about was how this highly off-the-beaten path career took shape, which was nothing like where she thought she wanted to be her entire life.

journal

In this episode, we talk about how to balance being an introvert with extroverted tendencies, adapting and protecting yourself as an HSP (or highly sensitive person), and Dani’s windy, highly untraditional path from living in Manhattan in a super competitive world to ending up in politics to finding her way into the entertainment industry, to trying out tech, to a degree in Spiritual Psychology (which I didn’t know was a thing until now!) from University Of Santa Monica and “coming out of the astrology closet.”

journal

She also talks about following your heart, conscious friendships, and – my very favorite – what the planets in your chart say about where you are in your own personal growth cycle, and why it will NOT look like anyone else’s. Pretty cool.

This episode resonated with me on a very deep level, and I hope you love it as much as I do.

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

One lucky WANT reader will win a copy of Dani’s New Moon Circle Journal (pictured above), an astrological guide to monthly intention setting, providing you with an opportunity to reflect on your heartfelt dreams and desires. It also offers information on how you can create a Moon Circle of your own.

To enter, leave a comment telling me one thing about this episode that you loved. For extra entries, follow @katiehorwitch, @danibeinstein, and/or @newmooncircle on Instagram. The winner will be announced on Tuesday, September 29th at 6pm PST. Good luck, WANT women (and men, too)!

WANT DANIELLE:

Play in new window | Download
Listen + subscribe in iTunes

WANT more? Read Danielle’s WANT piece on conscious friendships and what to do when you’re triggered: Squad Goals + Self Worth: 5 Tips For When You’re Triggered

Show notes:
Website
Instagram
Book a coaching session
 (Dani read my chart and it was an eye-opening experience!)
New Moon Circle
New Moon Circle Journal

Paula Mallis
Poppy + Seed
Unplug Meditation

University Of Santa Monica Spiritual Psychology
My sound guru Roger Bellon, who helped make sure this podcast sounded beautiful

danielle-beinstein

Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes (the more reviews, the more Dani’s message is spread), share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself!

Squad Goals + Self Worth: 5 Tips For When You’re Triggered By Your Friends

Squad Goals + Self Worth: 5 Tips For When You’re Triggered By Your Friends

Community Love Tips + Tools

YOU KNOW the saying “You are a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with?” That also means that many times, when our closest friends and loved ones get under our skin, it’s an indication of something deeper going on within ourselves. Astrologer (and major-league WANT Woman) Danielle Beinstein is the co-founder of the New Moon Circle in Venice Beach, CA, which gives women a sacred space to set intentions, form bonds, and heal their lives from the inside out. Today, I’ve asked Danielle to shed some wisdom on the power of female friendships, how to respond when you feel yourself being triggered, and why the people you surround yourself with are way more than just your “squad” – they’re your mirrors.


Growing up, I always had a best friend. I was the emotional caretaker, notoriously the less popular of the duo with a penchant for psychoanalyzing, babysitting and distributing candy from my locker (true story) to brighten people’s day (and, eek, to get people to like me). I supported my friends, while shunning the spotlight.

I was good at this – at least for a while. But something inside me (likely propelled by my Venus in Leo, which craves attention) felt unfulfilled and unseen. I became restless.

And so I did what I thought I had to do: I staged a break-up and left for greener pastures. This is the classic story, right? The sidekick emerges from the sidelines, set aglow.

Except not so much. At least not in my case. Because I came up against myself. And it wasn’t pretty.

We seem to be at a cultural peak of female friendships. Much has been touted about Taylor Swift’s parading her besties on stage, for her dreamlike posse. In this post-Sex and The City age, we’re championing friendship more than ever, advertising them like the latest lipstick on glossy, manicured pages. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a very good thing. Female friendships are getting their due.

And yet, sometimes it feels almost cartoonish. After all, women are emotional creatures. We rub off on one other. We wrestle with our accomplishments – or lack thereof. We experience envy, question ourselves and our choices. We can be catty and gossipy. We get triggered.

In short, we’re human.

And our humanness very often bleeds into and onto our friendships.

Female friendships are complex. In order to really work, they require a constant give and take. They require honest self-inquiry and self-assessment. They require us to grow up. Because the truth is that what annoys us or irritates us in another – even in our dearest relationships– is very often reflecting our own unconscious patterning back to us.

In astrology, the 7th house is associated with one-on-one partnerships, marriages and open enemies. So often clients will come to me asking about their romantic relationships – why they’re attracted to certain partners. And it’s always in there. But if we look closer, we often find the same characteristics will apply to our close friends (or open enemies) as well. We’re drawn to others for a reason – because they have something to teach us, to show us, regardless of whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, and whether the material is positive or negative.
After all, relationships are mirrors – and we may not always like what we see. -Dani Beinstein Click To Tweet

When I was younger, for example, I would complain that my friends were withholding, that they took, freely, without returning in kind. I felt bereft, convinced everyone was somehow better than me, my negative self-talk in full effect, subversively driving my every action. But as I matured, I realized that, in fact, I had been doing this to myself. I had been denying myself love, affection and attention. I had rejected myself. My friendships were simply showcasing my own self-worth, my own lack of self-esteem.

I had to own my projections and work, tirelessly, on filling my own cup. I stopped blaming others for my state. I practiced self care, set boundaries (even when it made me physically ill) and connected to my inner child inside, giving her stifled and contracted voice a safe and sacred outlet. I had to let her breathe.

And now, my life is, ironically, coming full circle. I am, of all things, making a career as the supportive champion of others (mostly women). I have come to own my inherent worth and thus can meet my friends from a place of wholeness and completeness. And when I am triggered, we talk about it – it’s out on the table and becomes an opportunity for intimacy and healing.

In other words, it’s real.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.


DANIELLE’s 5 TIPS FOR WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF TRIGGERED:

STOP.
Take a Breath. Observe the situation. Proceed.

LISTEN.
Listen with your heart. We are quick to give advice, to fix. But pause. Really listen underneath the words. What are they trying to convey? What is that they’re really trying to say?

ASK QUESTIONS.
Why is this really bothering me? What is this revealing to me about me? Do I do this? Think this? Feel this?

GET NEUTRAL.
Accept it – from a neutral place. Without judgment. This is key. When we judge something, we lock it into place. We all have flaws and imperfections. We’re all human.

FORGIVE.
Forgiveness. Of others. But more importantly, forgive yourself. We’re all here to grow and learn. What would be the point of being on earth if we were perfect?

What would be the point of being on earth if we were perfect? -Danielle Beinstein Click To Tweet


Loved this piece? Me, too. Tune in to the WANTcast next week to hear Dani and I talk beauty standards, pop culture, and the journey that lead her to the unconventional career path that turned out to be right where she belongs.
(…plus a giveaway!)

photo credit: kathryn page