WANTcast 084: From Evolution To Revolution With Seane Corn

WANTcast 084: From Evolution To Revolution With Seane Corn

the WANTcast

Seane Corn is an internationally acclaimed yoga teacher and public speaker known for her social activism, impassioned style of teaching, and raw, honest and inspired self-expression. Featured on over 40 magazine covers and countless media outlets, Seane has chosen to use her platform to bring awareness to global issues including social justice, sex trafficking, HIV/AIDS awareness, generational poverty, and animal rights. Seane is the co-founder of Off the Mat, Into the World (OTM), which trains thousands of leaders in conscious activism worldwide, and its offshoot, the Global Seva Challenge, which has raised over 3.5 million dollars for service programs in Cambodia, South Africa, Uganda, Haiti, India, Ecuador, and Kenya. Her first book Revolution of the Soul:  Awaken to Love, Through Raw Truth, Radical Healing, and Conscious Action was published in Fall 2019, and it is what it says: a REVOLUTION.


In this episode Seane and I talk about dismantling deeply-engrained systems within ourselves and our society, the dark side of yoga, the nuances of “God” and “spirituality,” competition and judgement in what are supposed to be the most non-judgmental of spaces, and SO much more. This episode is a call-to-action for anyone who is brave enough to do the challenging, meaningful, profound work needed to make a difference in the world.

 

WANT Seane:

SHOW NOTES:
Revolution Of The Soul
seanecorn.com
Off The Mat, Into The World

Subscribe to The (Good) WordWANT’s bi-monthly email love letter
Have a Q you want us to A? Email Katie at katie@womenagainstnegativetalk.com or DM her on Instagram @katiehorwitch

Like this episode? Take a screenshot + share on social, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast and #womenagainstnegativetalk!

WANTcast 083: Frozen In Time.

WANTcast 083: Frozen In Time.

the WANTcast

On this solo episode of the WANTcast, we dive into the concept of “Emotional DNA,” navigating the moments in life that aren’t quite good but aren’t quite bad (the grey area we talk about so often here on the WANTcast), and, most notably, managing transitional moments when you literally cannot imagine what’s next.

SHOW NOTES:
Website
Instagram
Judy Wilkins-Smith

 

THIS EPISODE IS IN SUPPORT OF:
Too Damn Young
Instagram
toodamnyoung.com

 

Leave a review on iTunes
Subscribe to The (Good) Word, delivered to your inbox on or around the 1st and 15th of each month

How To Actually Apologize (from a Highly Sensitive Person + Chronic Over-Apologizer)

How To Actually Apologize (from a Highly Sensitive Person + Chronic Over-Apologizer)

Community Most Popular Posts Tips + Tools

You’ve heard it thrice already before breakfast.

In line for coffee.

When you hold the door.

An arm brushes against you unexpectedly at work. The yogi next to you scoots their mat a few inches to the right to make space. It’s a crowded class and knocks your elbow.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m so. so. sorry.

~

We live in a culture of over-apologizers. Sorry Not Sorry is a cute hashtag and a catchy Demi Lovato bop, but its resonance comes from a very real and very not-cute place: we’ve engrained Sorry so deeply into our vernacular that rebelling against it feels electric, almost dangerous. “Sorry” is a part of who we are.

The problem with over-apologizing isn’t just that it cuts away at our self-respect – how can we respect our own opinions if we’re constantly apologizing for them? – it’s also that an abundance of apologies makes us like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Or rather, the Girl Who Cried SORRY. You remember the story: there’s this kid. He’s watching some sheep. He thinks it’s HILARIOUS to yell, over and over, that there’s a wolf. The villagers rush out each time, terrified, only to be met by the little twerp laughing at them.

Of course, when a wolf finally DOES show up and he calls for help, no one believes him. Can you blame them?

 

If we’re known as a constant sorry-sayer, it doesn’t matter how genuinely sorry we are or how terrible we feel – our sorrys are not trustworthy and are deemed inauthentic. “Sorry” has become cheap, and is way too often associated with weakness or being a pushover.


But sometimes you screw up – majorly. Maybe it’s a missed deadline. Maybe you forget about important plans. Maybe you sleep through your alarm clock or lose a pair of borrowed earrings or think it’s Sunday when it’s actually Monday. Or maybe it’s worse.

Whatever the case, you’re deeply sorry – yet don’t know how to accurately portray how sincere you really are without coming across as flippant, disingenuous, or just another sorry-monster.

How can we respect our own opinions if we're constantly apologizing for them? Click To Tweet

Saying “sorry” can be a way of protecting yourself from hurt (ie: “if I say sorry first, then maybe they’ll pity or empathize with me”) or clinging to relationships (ie: “if I say sorry, then they know they have the power”) instead of really, truly, feeling regret or sorrow over something you said or did.

But what about those times when you actually are sorry?

The most sensitive and aware of us are usually the ones that mistakes hit hardest. I highly doubt it’s just me that can/will dwell over a misspoken word or even a tone of voice that might have been “taken the wrong way.” I’ll dwell for days. Weeks. I mean, there are things I said or did in fifth grade I still stress over.

A sample from my collection of thoughts I’ve gathered over the years: Do they hate me? Will I get fired? Will he break up with me? Is my reputation dead? Should I just quit everything and start fresh where no one knows me? 

The act of saying “sorry” holds a lot more weight than others may realize – especially for you, you Sensitive Soul. The trick is to subtly shift the way you apologize and be the slow-yet-steady change you wish to see in the world (because change and mistakes go hand-in-hand).

Shift the way you apologize, and be the slow-yet-steady change you wish to see in the world - because change and mistakes go hand-in-hand. Click To Tweet

Here’s what I’ve learned when it comes to how to say sorry, for those of us who get hit the deepest by our own mistakes and want to make our apologies last longer than just five little letters:

FESS UP COMPLETELY.

When we’re in the wrong, it’s tempting to lean on stories, excuses, or even little white lies in hopes of getting us in the clear quicker. However legitimate (or convincing, in the case of little white lies) your story, you’ve gotta face the facts. The act has already been done, the opportunity has been lost, and you just might have let someone down. An explanation might be necessary, but not if it’s in hopes of defending yourself. An explanation and an excuse are two very different things. Fess up completely, and explain whatever you need to in order to support your apology, not ask for a free pass.

As for the “omission of truths?” I’ve found that white lies can be habit-forming, or just icky. Little white lies are like plaque on your soul, and can (and will) build up inside you. Over time, they morph into a weighty guilt that is way harder to shake than telling the truth ever would be.

GO FOR QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.

When you’re truly sorry for something you did, the best thing to do first is accept full responsibility – but keep it concise. Long, drawn-out apologies can seem inauthentic and water down your true intentions. Side note, they can make you seem weak, which you’re not. Acknowledge your faux pas, acknowledge the fact that you fell below your usual standards for yourself, then turn your focus onto the other person (friend, boss, lover, whoever). Look the other person in the eye and listen to all they have to say. Prepare to be met with at least a little bit of anger, frustration, or sadness. You might get a lecture and your impulse might be to go into defense mode. But being fully present, fully accepting of both the other person’s perceptions and emotions, as well as your own inherently beautifully flawed humanity, is one of the noblest, strongest things you can do to move forward in an effective way.

OFFER YOUR SERVICE.

Are you able to fix the situation? Get on it. Ask if there is anything you can do to help the situation – and offer clear-cut suggestions to prove you’re not just asking because you think you should. Is there something you can replace? Go find it. Is there an additional apology you can make to someone else? Go make it. Is there an errand you can run or a call you can make, or something unrelated yet needed that the other person values? Figure out what it is and make it happen. Being of service after a screw-up not only helps others feel good again, it helps you feel useful and proactive instead of ashamed and defeated.

MAKE A PREVENTION PLAN.

Ever heard that hindsight comes right after you need it most? Not necessarily. Forgive yourself first and foremost, then take at least one active step to prevent your mistake from happening again. Find yourself sleeping through your alarm when you’ve had a long day/week/month? Schedule a free wake-up call online. Work mostly off of memory or your phone’s calendar? Maybe an old-school, handheld Day Planner is what will help you stay organized (I personally need to take this advice – something about pen-to-paper keeps me on track like no app ever could). Did your mistake involve more of a slip of the tongue or an offensive remark? Start practicing extreme compassion and empathy in every single one of your interactions throughout the day. Constantly ask yourself what would make you feel good, how you would want to be treated, how you would want someone to breach a difficult topic to you. Basically, be the kindest, most thoughtful person you know.

 

The way you’re wired might be different than others, but the simple act of exercising empathy on a day-to-day basis could be the thing that saves you from a major misstep in the future. And if it doesn’t? You know what to do to make your apology count.

 


WANT Yourself:
In the comments below, tell me about a time you made a mistake and had to apologize. What did you do to mend the situation or relationship? What was the lesson you learned as a result? Has it shaped the way you do things today?


Never miss a post. Ever. Sign up + join the WANT movement:



a version of this post originally appeared on the chalkboard mag in 2014

WANTcast 082: Good, But Not Good Enough (Community Q+A Episode) w/ Angela Leigh

WANTcast 082: Good, But Not Good Enough (Community Q+A Episode) w/ Angela Leigh

the WANTcast

In this episode, we answer the question: what happens when you keep applying for jobs and going for opportunities, but you never get them? What happens when you get so close, but don’t land the gig? How can you stop feeling like you’re good, but not good enough?


Helping out with today’s episode of the WANTcast is Angela Leigh, a mentor, coach, and leader in the fitness and wellness industry. Angela Leigh is the ultimate teacher’s teacher and leader’s leader.

Take a listen:

SHOW NOTES:
Pureleighliving.com
Angela’s Instagram
Subscribe to The (Good) Word, WANT’s bi-monthly email love letter
Have a Q you want us to A? Email Katie at katie@womenagainstnegativetalk.com or DM her on Instagram @katiehorwitch

Like this episode? Take a screenshot + share on social, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast and #womenagainstnegativetalk!

WANTcast 081: Rethinking Pre-Fall + Maximizing Transitions

WANTcast 081: Rethinking Pre-Fall + Maximizing Transitions

the WANTcast

Without Summer vacations and required reading, it can be hard as an adult to draw the line between where Summer ends and Fall begins. Because although we’d love to have an endless summer…and although the first day of Autumn isn’t technically until September 23rd…we can all feel a shift happen the moment Labor Day weekend comes to a close. It’s “back to the grind” – even though most of us have been grinding all year long.

This timely Season Premiere of the WANTcast is here to help you make the most of this time, right here and now. Because while January usually gets all the attention when it comes to resolutions, I’d like to argue that September holds just as much promise as the 01/01 mark.

THIS EPISODE IS IN SUPPORT OF:
Too Damn Young
Instagram
toodamnyoung.com

Leave a review on iTunes
Subscribe to The (Good) Word, delivered to your inbox on or around the 1st and 15th of each month

Embracing The Pre-Autumn Reset.

Embracing The Pre-Autumn Reset.

Community Most Popular Posts Tips + Tools

Last weekend, I made a rookie mistake of going to HomeGoods on the trifecta of the worst days to go to HomeGoods: the Sunday before school started and September began. As I rode the escalator down the narrow hallway while Michelle Branch softly echoed through the speakers, I was smacked in the face by a combination of assorted pumpkin spice -esque scents and children squealing at delight over Paw Patrol and Peppa The Pig backpacks. As I entered the too-long line with my cart filled with storage boxes, new towels, and various assortments of off-brand kettle corn (have you SEEN THE KETTLE CORN SELECTION), I overheard a mother and son talking in line. I just don’t want summer to be over, he moaned. “I know, sweetie. But school’s going to be so much fun!” his mom reassured him.

Then, picking up a ceramic cornucopia, she said, The sooner school begins, the closer we are to the holidays! Isn’t that great?

There it was: the full-speed-ahead into the end of the year.

~

Unlike most kids, I always looked forward to the first day of school. I might have had a mini panic attack before starting my senior year of high school (first and lasts always get me), but even those years when I switched schools and had to find all new friends, all that ever bubbled up was excitement and enthusiasm.

Maybe it was my naiveté, maybe it was my upbringing, maybe it was just my personality. But there was something about backpack shopping, picking out my outfits, and pouring over the introductory paperwork all the students at my schools were sent pre- Day One that made my heart so very happy.

The impending challenges of a new grade – or in some cases, a new school altogether – never really entered my head. Back To School season was the BEST season of the year.

 

I’ve always loved transitions.

 


It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long it’s been since you held a No. 2 pencil in your hand: for most former-kids, September will forever be synonymous with “Back To School.”
The seasonal shift from Summer to Pre-Autumn to full-on-FALL signals that something new’s afoot – new friends, new challenges, new tests, and new teachers. We prepare for a new start, hope for positive change, and cross our fingers that we’ll be able to handle what life dishes out in the coming months.


Without Summer vacations and required reading, though, it can be hard as an adult to draw the line between where Summer ends and Fall begins.
Because although we’d love to have an endless summer…and although the first day of Autumn isn’t technically until September 23rd…we can all feel a shift happen the moment Labor Day weekend comes to a close. It’s “back to the grind” – even though most of us have been grinding all year long.


And so it can just seem like more of the same – like we lost track of time, and the Summer months so associated with taking a breather completely passed us by.
Couple this with a built-in programming from childhood to register this time of year as transitional, and it’s easy to feel a little bummed out once September hits.

 

While January usually gets all the attention when it comes to resolutions, I’d like to argue that September holds just as much promise as the 01/01 mark.

 

Pre-Autumn (and then into Fall) is the perfect time to evaluate where you’ve been, where you’re at, and where you’re going. It’s a time to bring back that childlike enthusiasm, relentless joy, and maybe even those first-day jitters you had as a kid (because all worthwhile and exciting changes in life bring up first-day jitters, really).

 

It’s called “Fall” for a reason: just like the leaves fall away from their branches so the tree can begin its process of renewal, we too should let our old energy-suckers fall off our backs to make way for this new season of growth.


This month – and this Fall in general – I encourage you to look at what’s worked, what hasn’t, and what your heart truly desires in this moment.
Maybe you’ve been skimping on self care. Getting a 15 minute sweat in before work is just what you need. Maybe you’ve been so wrapped up in work that your social life isn’t what you’d like it to be. Call a friend you haven’t checked in on in a while. Evaluate what you’ve accomplished this year so far, and how you want to feel by the time the clock strikes midnight on January 1st of next year.


Each transitional moment – whether a season or a reason – I like to take a beat and get intentional about what I want to notice in this particular transition. Doesn’t matter if I write them down and completely forget about them two days later. Simply the act of identifying questions I want to ask or thinks I want to think about introduces them into my subconsciousness.

Some thinks I’ll be thinking and questions I’ll be asking myself – feel free to steal them for your own musings:

 

  • Role models who are living their legacy. Who can I look up to who is doing the REAL work, not just what is trendy, popular, or the easy way out?
  • More yesses and nos, less maybes. How can I tap into my intuition right away, and use it to help me make concrete decisions? And if there’s a “maybe” that enters the mix – can I set a time limit for it?
  • Creating, staying in, and fully owning my own lane. This is MY life, no one else’s. What am I doing to honor it? What about it is unique? How can I make sure it stays unique? And, if I get distracted by what others are doing, how can I redirect my focus?
  • Time management. What things are the most important to do each day…and what things are just “routine addiction”? (ex: if I have a podcast interview at 9AM but wake up at 7:30AM, is it more important for me to fit in a workout like I do almost every morning, or take the time to get centered and prepare for a successful conversation?)
  • Family. DNA and chosen. How am I nurturing both, especially those members that live across the country from me?

Just like the leaves fall away from their branches so the tree can begin its process of renewal, we too should let the old fall off our backs to make way for this new season of growth. Click To Tweet

 

The holiday decorations are already springing up (I see you and your Thanksgiving napkins, HomeGoods.) and it’s easy to feed into the mindset of “there’s so little time left!!” But we’ve got four whole months. A THIRD of the year left. Think back to January through April – you did so much during that same time period earlier this year. Less if you take February’s weird dates into account. You have so much time left. It’s all about what you do with it.

 

There will be challenges in the coming months, of course, and the newness of Fall and Winter will bring all kinds of highs and lows we could never have predicted. But if we shift our perspective to refocus our minds, refresh our hearts, and renew our commitments, there’s no telling what kind of miracles the rest of this year has in store.

Pick out your outfit, grab your backpack, and let’s get on this bus together.

 

Subscribe to The (Good) Word + join the WANT movement: