WANTcast 063: Let Go and Let GOAL with Goal Coach Jacki Carr

WANTcast 063: Let Go and Let GOAL with Goal Coach Jacki Carr

the WANTcast

Jacki Carr is a goal coach, writer, motivational speaker, and co-founder of Rock Your Bliss, which offers radical coaching to help you design a life that…well…rocks your bliss. As a leader in transformation, her coaching style includes real + honest conversations and true connection to your most powerful and whole self.

She is a Lightyear Leadership faculty member, helping people to lead themselves to leave a legacy of their own design. She has worked with companies such as Patagonia, lululemon and NIKE on Leadership and Personal Responsibility. She believes in a World where we all truly belong and each and every one of us has unique gifts to contribute.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• What’s the anatomy of a good goal?
• How to goal set BIG if you’re good at the micro/immediate goals, and SMALL if youre a big-picture person
• How to be a goal GETTER instead of just a goal SETTER
• Moving forward after failure: what to do when you set a goal and don’t achieve it
• Post-goal life: what do you do after you get the thing you wanted?
• Goals with negative language – are they okay?
• Goal laziness and goal obsessiveness

Plus building community LATER in life, and friends vs community – how to find your people when it feels like everyone else has found theirs.

WANT Jacki:

Words are just words until we attach meaning to them. - @jackicarr Click To Tweet
I use the word failure often. Because the more I use it, the less I'm afraid of it. - @jackicarr Click To Tweet

SHOW NOTES:
Jacki’s site
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Rock Your Bliss
Episode 006
Lightyear Leadership
Living Beautifully With Uncertainty And Change
Core Values Word Bank

Like this episode? Take a screenshot + share on social, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast and #womenagainstnegativetalk!

This week’s WANTcast is sponsored by Care/of, a monthly subscription vitamin service that delivers completely personalized vitamin and supplement packs right to your door. Take advantage of this month’s special New Year offer! For 50% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter WANT50.

 

How To Change Your Life.

How To Change Your Life.

Body Community Love Most Popular Posts Motivation + Inspiration Work

I BLINK AWAKE and I’m surrounded.

I open my door and walk out into the still-sleeping streets and they close in. The busses plow by and I’m hit with their force. Signing onto Facebook, tweeted out on Twitter. On fitness product placards and grocery story windows and spa practitioners and mega-store outlets.

I know them so well: the claims and calls to change your life.

They make it seem so easy – just sign up and go. Just buy this thing or set this goal, and once it’s yours you’re the You that you want to be. Simple as that.

Laughable, right?

Honestly, we’re the ones that should be laughed at. We’ve been duped, and it’s at no fault of the companies and corporations. I mean, maybe some fault…but it starts with us. They know where to hit us in our soft spots and seize every opportunity. We WANT change. We’re starved for it, even. They’re just giving us what we ask for.

Why is it, then, that with so many available outlets for change…we’re still endlessly craving it?

Change does not come from something. It comes from all things. Click To Tweet

There’s this somewhat confusing, somewhat contradictory feeling that comes with big change. It’s excitement, it’s anticipation, it’s bliss…but it’s also a little fear, a muddle of oddity, a dash of discomfort. The contrast can be enough to frighten us away.

And that’s where they get us:
Offering us a place to go when the real steps are too scary.

Working out is too hard? Try this machine.

Eating well is too expensive? Buy this cheap box of massive claims.

Finding love in all the wrong places? Gurl, you totally need a new wardrobe, and also a facial.

Hello, just go to that class 3xs a week and watch your life fall into place! It worked for us, it’ll work for you.

 


We often associate discomfort with something bad – but what if we’re just displacing our true emotions? Discomfort merely means a state of non-comfort. And sure, sometimes that’s a by-product of a very bad place to be. A place of falseness, lies, of going against who you truly are.

But discomfort can also be the by-product of massive shifts and important changes in motion – the by-product of being affected by them.

 

To make lasting change, we must allow ourselves to be affected and moved.

We must allow ourselves to feel.

 

Sure, joining a gym or buying a new pair of jeans can be awesome. But they’re baby steps on the road to lasting change. Supporting players, not leading roles. Going to a spin class for the sake of checking it off your to-do list won’t get you the change you want, attending yoga so you can SAY you did won’t make you FEEL zen, and eating healthy foods for bragging rights won’t get you glowing. You’ve got to surrender yourself to the experience. Because there will be bumps in the road, and they WILL be uncomfortable. But that feeling won’t be because you’re doing something wrong. Nope – it’ll be because you’re breaking new ground on the way to doing everything so very, very right. Breaking through anything is uncomfortable. If you disengage from feeling, you disengage from change. If you slam down on the breaks, you miss the breakthrough.

If you slam down on the breaks, you miss the breakthrough. Click To Tweet

Ever entered a room or started a conversation and felt an immediate coldness? That is what happens when someone disengages, when someone decides they don’t want to be affected: everything freezes. Connections remain on a surface level, interactions are completely on the outside. No wonder so many of us flip out when we’ve found a new soul-friend or a lustworthy romantic prospect! It’s not that the depth of character is so rare – it’s that too many of us fight against depth or freeze it out. Depth is uncomfy, depth means you can be affected. Depth means you feel things that sometimes will hurt.

But depth is also what warms us up from the inside out. It’s our internal thermostat.

how to change your life

Ready to have your mind blown? Change does not come from something. It comes from all things. The insides, the outsides, the marriage of the two. There is possibility for change everywhere, and you never know for sure where you’ll find it. Allowing yourself to be affected, to be moved, to feel, is to allow yourself permission to move into that change that’s so meant for you.

And so while the bus sign and Newsfeeds and grocery-store windows try as they might, their claims are no substitute for the magic that unfolds when we just open up and feel. We’re fine-tuned on the inside to respond to every effect and affect in a way that’s all our own. Taking a deep, long breath and opening up our insides to our outsides is way more effective than any claim you’ll read.

 

You don’t need a pill to see a shift. You don’t require rules to make a difference. And just going THROUGH the motions is nothing compared to what happens when you are shaken to the core by the way they make you feel.


Open your doors. This is all yours.

Now go and change your life.


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Baby One More Time: Extroverts, Introverts, and Turning FOMO to JOMO with Jacki Carr

Baby One More Time: Extroverts, Introverts, and Turning FOMO to JOMO with Jacki Carr

the WANTcast

BABY ONE MORE TIME is the WANTcast’s take on “Greatest Hits” or “Best Of” episodes: conversations that were so awesome the first time around, we needed to bring them back!

Missed it the first time around? We’re back with a remastered version. Loved it back in the day? Re-listen and re-love it (and maybe pick up on some gems you didn’t hear when we first aired).

Like leaves on trees, you can let the goals that don't serve you anymore GO. - @jackicarr Click To Tweet

Jacki Carr is a goal coach, motivational speaker, and leadership consultant. She’s become a highly sought-after pro in her arena who’s helped hundreds of people across the globe not only reach their goals, but actually craft exactly what those goals look like, why they matter, and a path to them that is unique to every single person – personal goals, professional goals, and everything in between.

What I love is that Jacki’s not a life coach, and she’s not a therapist: she’s got a passion for GOAL SETTING and ACHIEVING specifically that just exudes from every single thing she does. I found this episode not just uplifting… but action-inspiring. Listening back on this episode made me reflect on my own goals and visions, and how I can use what I’ve been given to make my own unique impact both personally and professionally. I thought about the stages I’ve been through, and what kinds of changes I might want to make in the future. Hopefully, it’ll do the same for you too.

WANT Jacki:

Show Notes:
Jacki’s site
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Rock Your Bliss
Quiet by Susan Cain
Creative Start podcast with Jacki

igolu
Rock Your Bliss on WANT


Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself!

WANTcast 060: On Boosting Your Confidence, Releasing Control, Loneliness, “Finding Your People,” and more! (Q+A Episode, Season Three Finale)

WANTcast 060: On Boosting Your Confidence, Releasing Control, Loneliness, “Finding Your People,” and more! (Q+A Episode, Season Three Finale)

the WANTcast

For the final episode of Season Three, it’s all about you and YOUR questions. After a quick recap of 2018 and Season Three, we dive into five questions from YOU, the WANT community, having to do with boosting your confidence (especially when you’re simultaneously trying/needing to uplift others) achieving your goals while staying charged up and energized, “trusting the timing of life” and releasing control when it’s the most frustrating to do so, how to deal with hurtful/toxic social media interactions, and – the big one – why so many of us are SO damn lonely and how to find those friends and communities we crave as adults.

Stay tuned until the end – there’s a special announcement about the future of the WANTcast and what 2019 has in store for WANT (hint, it involves you)!

WANT Yourself:


*Thank you so much for everything you give to WANT, and to me, and to each other, on a daily basis. I appreciate you and adore you more than I could ever even begin to express. So happy we’re in this together. ONWARD!*

 

Show Notes:
On Insta-Bullies and “The High Road”

Making Friends As An Adult Pt 1
Making Friends As An Adult Pt 2
Reframing Regret
Mindful Social Media
Woke + Wired Podcast
Aaptiv signup (use code KATIE30 for a free month and 30% off!)

Instagram
Facebook
Sign up for The (Good) Word, WANT’s monthly email love letter

 



 

The New January.

The New January.

Body Community Love Most Popular Posts Motivation + Inspiration Tips + Tools Work

UNLIKE MOST KIDS, I don’t remember EVER dreading the first day of school. I might have had a mini panic attack before starting my senior year of high school (first and lasts always get me), but even those years when I switched schools and had to find all new friends, all that ever bubbled up was excitement and enthusiasm.

Maybe it was my naiveté, maybe it was my upbringing, maybe it was just my personality. But there was something about backpack shopping, picking out my outfits, and pouring over the introductory paperwork all the students at my schools were sent pre- Day One that made my heart so very happy. The impending challenges of a new grade – or in some cases, a new school altogether – never really entered my head. Back To School season was the BEST season of the year.

No matter what our lives looked like in those formative years of kindergarten through 12th grade, once September hits the ground running, we’re thrown back into that mentality of going “back to school.” We prepare for a new start, hope for positive change, and cross our fingers that we’ll be able to handle what life dishes out in the coming months.

Without summer vacations and required reading, though, it can be hard as an adult to draw the line between where summer ends and fall begins. Because although we’d love to have an endless summer, and although the first day of Autumn isn’t technically until September 23rd, we can all feel a shift from the moment Labor Day weekend comes to a close. It’s “back to the grind,” even though most of us have been grinding all year long. And so it can just seem like more of the same – like we lost track of time, and the time of year so associated with taking a breather completely passed us by. Couple this with a built-in programming from childhood to register this time of year as transitional, and it’s easy to feel a little bummed out by the seasonal shift.

While January usually gets the attention when it comes to resolutions, I’d like to argue that September deserves just as much attention as the 01/01 mark.

Autumn is the perfect time to evaluate where you’ve been, where you’re at, and where you’re going. It’s a time for us to bring back that childlike enthusiasm, relentless joy, and even those first-day jitters we had as kids. Because all worthwhile and exciting changes in life bring up first-day jitters, really.

It’s called “Fall” for a reason: just like the leaves break from the brances so the tree can begin its process of renewal, we too should let our old energy-suckers fall off our backs to make way for this new season of growth.

It's called Fall for a reason: just like the leaves break from the brances so the tree can begin its process of renewal, we too should let our old energy-suckers fall off our backs to make way for this new season of growth. Click To Tweet

This month – and this Fall in general – I encourage you to look at what’s worked, what hasn’t, and what your heart truly desires in this moment. Maybe you’ve been skimping on self care and getting a 15 minute sweat in before work is just what you need. Maybe you’ve been so wrapped up in work that your social life isn’t what you’d like it to be. Call a friend you haven’t checked in on in a while. Evaluate what you’ve accomplished this year so far, and how you want to feel by the time the clock strikes midnight on January 1st of next year.

Some thinks I’ll be thinking and questions I’ll be asking myself – feel free to steal them for your own musings:

september

  • Who can I look up to who is doing the REAL work, not just what is trendy, popular, or the easy way out?
  • How can I both grow my business and make my community ATYPICALLY authentic and meaningful?
  • Mornings. Middays. Bedtimes. What are some ways to tap into my energy levels during each season of the day and maximize my potential, even on those days I’m feeling down in the slumps?
  • What things are the most important to do each day…and what things are just “routine addiction”? (ex: if I have a podcast interview at 9AM but wake up at 7:30AM, is it more important for me to fit in a workout like I do almost every morning, or take the time to get centered and prepare for a successful conversation?)
  • Things that make me nervous. If those nerves are created by stories I’ve been telling myself, it’s time to rewrite the narrative by just going for it and doing the damn thing.

There will be challenges in the coming months, of course, and the newness of Fall and Winter will bring all kinds of highs and lows we could never have predicted. But if we shift our perspective to refocus our minds, refresh our hearts, and renew our commitments, there’s no telling what kind of miracles the rest of this year has in store.

Pick out your outfit, grab your backpack, and let’s get on this bus together.

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WANTcast 055: Making (And Keeping) Goals That Are Actually Right For You (Vs. What Looks Or Sounds Good)

WANTcast 055: Making (And Keeping) Goals That Are Actually Right For You (Vs. What Looks Or Sounds Good)

the WANTcast

In this episode of the WANTcast, one of our listeners asked to hear about how to make (and keep!) life goals that are realistic and are actually right for you, not just what looks or sounds good or “right.”

What’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for another – and what’s unrealistic to one person might be more attainable for you than you think.

Some questions to ask yourself, some red flags to look out for, how to figure out goals that work for you, and yes – how to actually go about ACHIEVING them (no bs here, folks).


Listen on iTunes | Listen on Stitcher | Download | Support the pod by shopping on Amazon



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