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Menu

  • about
    • what is WANT?
    • the WANT mission
    • press + praise
    • frequently asked questions
  • meet katie
  • the WANT library
    • all posts
    • tips + tools
    • motivation + inspiration
    • contributors + interviews
    • browse by category
      • body
      • relationships
      • career + passions
      • community
    • the recovery myth
  • the WANTcast
  • the (good) word
  • events
  • toolkits
  • contact
    • email me
    • work with me: speaking + workshops.
    • work with me: media + advertising
    • work with me: consulting
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The Self-Talk Shift For When You’re Feeling Behind Everyone Else In Life

The Self-Talk Shift For When You’re Feeling Behind Everyone Else In Life

by Katie Most Popular Posts Tips + Tools
True or False: I’m able to distance myself from what other people are doing and avoid the comparison trap. Maybe you think I’m not affected by ‘what other people are ... Read more
August 2, 2020August 2, 2020 4 Comments
WANTcast Episode 109: Do The Best With What You’ve Got And The Best For What’s Next

WANTcast Episode 109: Do The Best With What You’ve Got And The Best For What’s Next

by Katie the WANTcast
A negative self-talk loop is when the demeaning and degrading story we tell ourselves about ourselves or our life not only plays on repeat in our brain, but leads to even more ... Read more
July 31, 2020 Tagged: WANTcast Comment
WANTcast Episode 108: The Life-Changing Power Of Turning Off Your Notifications with Kelsey Patel

WANTcast Episode 108: The Life-Changing Power Of Turning Off Your Notifications with Kelsey Patel

by Katie the WANTcast
Burnout and overwhelm are timeless and can show up any time, any where, around any THING. Kelsey Patel is one of Hollywood’s leading wellness and reiki experts, as well as ... Read more
July 24, 2020July 24, 2020 Tagged: burnout, kelsey patel, overwhelm, reiki, WANTcast Comment
WANTcast Episode 107: Feeling Myself, Feeling Myself

WANTcast Episode 107: Feeling Myself, Feeling Myself

by Katie the WANTcast
Take a cue from Queen Bey and Nicki – this episode of the WANTcast is all about the power of touch and how it affects your body image. If you’re ... Read more
July 11, 2020 Tagged: body image, WANTcast Comment
Feeling Myself: On Touch + Body Image

Feeling Myself: On Touch + Body Image

by Katie Body Most Popular Posts
Jessica Rabbit once famously said, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” Self-talk isn’t inherently good or bad, positive or negative – it’s all information. It’s how we view ... Read more
July 9, 2020August 2, 2020 Tagged: body image, body neutrality, body positivity, tools Comment
Taking Your Self Off The Sidelines: Why Shifting Your Self-Talk Matters.

Taking Your Self Off The Sidelines: Why Shifting Your Self-Talk Matters.

by Katie Most Popular Posts Motivation + Inspiration
I first conceived of WANT: Women Against Negative Talk back in 2007. It was born out of my own personal pain, and my own simultaneous a-ha moments that a) conscious ... Read more
July 3, 2020July 3, 2020 Tagged: activism, change, community, inspiration, motivation, self image, self worth, self-talk Comment
WANTcast Episode 106: How To Get Yourself Off The Sidelines (Via Your Self Talk)

WANTcast Episode 106: How To Get Yourself Off The Sidelines (Via Your Self Talk)

by Katie the WANTcast
How does your self-talk hold you back from taking action in your life? How does that affect the world around you? In this episode, we talk about why shifting your ... Read more
July 3, 2020July 3, 2020 Tagged: WANTcast Comment
WANTcast Episode 105: Going Beyond Diversity with Carrie Kholi-Murchison

WANTcast Episode 105: Going Beyond Diversity with Carrie Kholi-Murchison

by Katie the WANTcast
Dr. Carrie Kholi-Murchison is a critical thinker, writer, entrepreneur, and growth strategist with 10+ years experience defining brands and gathering and growing communities, and is currently Whole30’s Director of People ... Read more
June 12, 2020June 12, 2020 Tagged: carrie kholi-murchison, WANTcast Comment
You Must Imagine.

You Must Imagine.

by Katie Community Most Popular Posts Motivation + Inspiration
A story. Last year on our trip to Italy, we visited the ruins of Pompeii. As our tour guide gestured toward the empty rooms and half-demolished ovens and sprawling town ... Read more
June 1, 2020July 9, 2020 Tagged: anti-racism, black lives matter Comment
WANTcast Episode 104: Experiential Longing

WANTcast Episode 104: Experiential Longing

by Katie the WANTcast
You know to call someone when you miss them. But what if what you miss isn’t a person that’s able to be dialed on the phone – or an event ... Read more
May 29, 2020May 29, 2020 Tagged: WANTcast Comment

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Change does not come from a singular something. It Change does not come from a singular something. It comes from all things. Never forget that you are an important part of the change equation. We need ALL lanes of work to create real, lasting change. “Ready to have your mind blown? Change does not come from something. It comes from all things. The insides, the outsides, the marriage of the two. There is possibility for change everywhere, and you never know for sure where you’ll find it.” -@womenagainstnegativetalk #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk #makeshifthappen
Maybe you’ve heard of #toxicpositivity...but how Maybe you’ve heard of #toxicpositivity...but how about PRAGMATIC positivity? Positivity isn’t about “making things okay,” or always looking at the “bright side.” No - that kind of positivity is empty, and dangerous. That kind of so-called positivity turns us away from reality, hinders our own growth (how can we learn and grow if we only know the brightest sides and bests?), and not just silences but completely invalidates the voices and experiences of others. #SpiritualBypassing and #toxicpositivity go hand in hand and get us nowhere. True positivity is rooted in PRAGMATISM. It’s rooted in reality, critical thinking, practical application, results, and consequences. Pragmatic Positivity recognizes the full spectrum of the human experience - the high highs, low lows, and everything in between - and chooses to move FORWARD proactively instead of retreating or turning away REACTIVELY. Toxic Positivity is problematic. But in order to do anything about ANYTHING that’s problematic, we must talk about the problem...AND work to identify and amplify solutions. Pragmatic Positivity is an anecdote to Toxic Positivity. Pass it on. 👉🏽Type YES if you agree ✨ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
“Fearless is when the fear is less than the fait “Fearless is when the fear is less than the faith” isn’t just a power phrase - it’s also an equation. Lowering your fear is super hard. And tbh, we’d never advise anyone to write over their fear, and definitely wouldn’t ever order them to just “think positive” and ignore the rest. Fear is there for a reason. It’s a human emotion, just like the rest of them - anger, sadness, joy, etc - and each has its place and space. _ But...upping your faith? That’s simple. And there’s no more powerful way to tip the scales than to list out the ways you have faith in yourself. _ Every tiny thing you have faith in - notice it. It counts. And slowly, the fear-to-faith scales start to tip from the fear over to the faith ✨ What do you have faith in today when it comes to yourself? _ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
Mic drop courtesy of @abiolatv on the #WANTcast 👏🏽 Learning and research are important - but they’re not truly effective without corresponding actions. Always ask yourself: how can I take this information, and do something proactive with it? #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
✨ THE SHIFT: Unconditional Self-Love vs Momentar ✨ THE SHIFT: Unconditional Self-Love vs Momentary Self-Like ✨ We often confuse ‘dislike’ for a lack of love - but think about your most enduring loves, from partners to friends to family. Just because you love them doesn’t mean that you always like what they do or how they show up. That’s normal. That’s human. The same applies to your Self. You don’t always have to LIKE everything about your Self in order to practice self-love. Self love is unconditional and unwavering - so to build it, find those things about who you are that you respect and honor no matter what life throws your way. #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk for more about shifting your self-talk, visit womenagainstnegativetalk.com
“Mean Girls” don’t just exist in the 18-and- “Mean Girls” don’t just exist in the 18-and-under set; they follow us throughout our young adulthood and into our lives. ADULT judgement and gossip, we forget, both have the exact same roots as their childhood origin: insecurity, ignorance, and a strong desire to remain top dog at any cost. And yet with that desire to be at the top comes a loneliness; an emptiness, lack of connection, and a distance between the person we project on the outside and the person we are (or long to be) on the inside. It drives us farther when all we truly want is to get closer. We begin to say we don’t care. We make “Whatever” or “Screw them” or “I don’t give a fuck” the catchphrase we tell everyone. But the irony is: we DO care. So. Much. In the words of @glennondoyle, “No woman on earth doesn’t give a fuck – no woman is that cool – she’s just hidden her fire. Likely, it’s burning her up.” #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
Intent is not much if the impact doesn’t align.‬ ‪“But I meant this to be...” isn’t a valid argument.‬ ‪If you want something to have a certain effect and it doesn’t, and you’re not willing to change the action to get the intended impact, then it wasn’t ever really about the intention at all.‬ ‪ Integrity: when your intentions and your impact are in alignment. When what you think, what you say, and what you do actually match up 💛 #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #integrity
QUESTION: How do you avoid spiraling when you acci QUESTION: How do you avoid spiraling when you accidentally take a step back in the growth you’re working on? A: @brenebrown says 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨: 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙮, 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣. Try to tell someone in your very innermost circle (that you love/trust) about it so the shame/guilt spiral doesn’t sit, grow, and fester - whether it’s a partner or a therapist or even just yourself in a journal. Dwell on it as a learning moment - and do your best to reframe it as ‘notes’ for your future self on how to adjust and do better. Look at whatever you’re feeling shame around, and formulate what you could say or do next time (instead of thinking back to and reverting emotionally to the moment you’re in currently). Read. Google. Learn, absorb, and apply instead of shaming yourself into silence or jumping to justification (bc neither will get you anywhere) 〰️ And then....do something you KNOW you excel at. Writing. Running. Anything that can help you redirect + reshape your self-deprecating energy into something USEFUL. Don’t write OVER the moment...move THROUGH it, allowing it to teach you what it needs to, and then be proactive, not reactive. 𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘪𝘯; 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯. 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦. -𝘌𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
We think a future version of our Self will know be We think a future version of our Self will know better. Be stronger. Speak louder. Or that one day, we’ll be successful or self-actualized ‘enough’ to say what we truly mean instead of what we think checks all the right boxes. The stakes are too high right now, we convince ourselves. I don’t know enough yet. Like once we achieve a very specific self-dictated level of success or expertise, the conversational doors will fly open. When that happens, we say, we’ll use our voice. We’ll talk about the things that matter. Systemic racism. Gender disparities. Wage gaps. Mental health. When, when, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯.   𝗬𝗲𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣, 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀, 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗼. Each time we say 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯, we reinforce the narrative in our mind that the ‘right’ time is far off in the distance. 
Imagine if everyone in the world waited until their own self-determined ‘day whens.’ We would never have any change or progress. We would spend our years waiting around and call that a life. #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
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Similarities between the early 1900s and 2020: pan Similarities between the early 1900s and 2020: pandemics, masks....and also the revival of the Daily Neighborhood Stroll!!! 😷 But in all seriousness: no wonder people used to do this daily. No matter how shitty the day has been (and there have been some shitty days) or how down I feel (and I have felt pretty down), our Daily Neighborhood Stroll has been my mood-leveling constant. Most of the time we take it as a family, sometimes it’s just @frankiescottfitzgerald and I (and usually the latest episode of @thedissenters). Maybe it doesn’t flat-out CHEER me up every time, but at the very least it recalibrates me back to neutral so that I can end the day feeling like things are...I don’t know...manageable...and that even if today wasn’t great, maybe tomorrow will be better. 👉🏽 Do you have something you do daily that helps you recalibrate your mood? Bonus points if it does NOT involve social media or a smartphone, even more bonus points if it doesn’t involve the internet altogether! #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk #selfcare #butlikeactualselfcare
“It is our most challenging seasons that serve a “It is our most challenging seasons that serve as our greatest teachers.” - @danielledoby Maybe you already follow my friend @danielledoby because she’s one of the most soulful writers here on Instagram. What you might not know is that she’s also one of the strongest humans, too. Right now (like at this very minute), she’s receiving a bilateral mastectomy to give her the best chances to beat the invasive ductal carcinoma - a form of breast cancer - she was diagnosed with in February. Yup, she’s been fighting cancer AND staying safe from c0vid this whole freaking time. And today, a new chapter begins not just in the fight but in her story of courage and brilliance. Please go and give her a follow, and send her some words of strength, love and encouragement. Lordy knows she’s given us (and ME!) so many over the years. I’ve got a copy of her book I’d love to gift someone who could use the comfort of her words. If that’s you, DM me and I’ll send it your way. No contest or anything. Just first person to DM me. (update, book has been claimed!!)
 
Love you Dee. My 4 wing 3 sis. My internet pen pal. Poetic storyteller extraordinaire. Your community is holding space for you now and always 💛✨
 
#womeagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #iamher
A Sunday love note. If you’re doing it right, w A Sunday love note. If you’re doing it right, whatever “it” is, you’ll mess up or fall short. A lot. But if you’re NOT feeling lost sometimes, if you’re NOT learning something new every day, if you’re NOT slightly doubting yourself on and off, if you’re NOT falling flat on your face or screwing up as you boldly move forward in spite of all that – and on the flipside, if you think you’re above missteps or you’re too good to grow – then it’s not that important to you and your path anyway. Anything worthwhile takes time, mistakes, and lots of growth. Life is like one big game of Chutes and Ladders: sometimes we climb and sometimes we fall, but the only way to get to the finish line is to stay in the game. #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk #growthmindset
“When women lose themselves, the world loses its “When women lose themselves, the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world's expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn.” -@glennondoyle 🔥 📷 @penaphotography #womenagainstnegativetalk #wantyourself #untamed
While I‘m honored and flattered by the nominatio While I‘m honored and flattered by the nominations and messages, I’d like to take this #womenempoweringwomen time to highlight someone other than myself. I have no problem posting a photo celebrating myself and have worked a long time to embrace that I’m worth celebrating. But I know a lot of people aren’t there yet, and maybe for them, this challenge has given them permission to do so. Which I LOVE 💛💛💛💛 But maybe you’re wondering - what the heck is going on?? @heychookooloonks informed me that this challenge, while not a new thing (Google “ChallengeAccepted NYT” to read up on it on @nytimes), has seen a resurgence in part due to Yoho‘s sexist comments to @AOC. So I figured right now might be a good time to celebrate a woman who was trailblazing in congress long before this moment. Someone who I’ve been reading up on lately who doesn’t get nearly enough of the attention she deserves is Rep. Patsy T. Mink. From @womenshistory: “In 1959 when Hawaii became a U.S. State, Patsy Mink knew she wanted to run for a position in government. Little did she know, she would become the first woman of color elected to the U.S. House of Representatives and the first Asian-American woman to serve in Congress. In addition to writing bills like Title IX, the Early Childhood Education Act, and the Women's Educational Equity Act, Mink was the first Asian-American to run for U.S. President.” If you feel inclined, I’d LOVE for you to share (either in the comments or on your own page OR BOTH!) about a woman you’ve learned about who’s blazed trails and paved roads like Rep. Mink did. It’s important we celebrate ourselves out loud, and that we also celebrate the women who helped make it okay to do so. Thank you to all the women who have, as @michelleobama44 said, gone high. Thank you to all the women - the trailblazers, the freedom fighters, the justice seekers, the extraordinary and remarkable humans - that we can look to and draw strength from. Our legacy is in the knowledge we pass and the roads we build for others to walk upon long after we’re gone ✨ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
TOXIC POSITIVITY: the equivalent of throwing coins TOXIC POSITIVITY: the equivalent of throwing coins into fountains and calling it “working toward my goals!!!!” 👀😐 Positivity isn’t about “making things okay,” or always looking at the “bright side.” And it’s definitely not about sending love and light and thoughts and prayers or throwing coins and telling yourself that you’ve done something productive. No - that kind of positivity is empty, and dangerous. That kind of so-called positivity is what’s toxic: it turns us away from reality, hinders our own growth (how can we learn and grow if we only know the brightest sides and bests?), and not just silences but completely invalidates the voices and experiences of others. #Spiritualbypassing and #toxicpositivity go hand in hand and get us nowhere. True positivity is rooted in PRAGMATISM. It’s rooted in reality, critical thinking, practical application, results, and consequences. Pragmatic Positivity recognizes the full spectrum of the human experience - the high highs, low lows, and everything in between - and chooses to move FORWARD proactively instead of retreating or turning away REACTIVELY. Toxic Positivity is problematic. But in order to do anything about ANYTHING that’s problematic, we must talk about the problem...AND work to identify and amplify solutions. To be clear, I will always throw coins in fountains and blow onto dandelions when given the chance. And. My coin toss and my scattering of seeds isn’t an ask or a prayer. It’s always a statement. A visualization. A chance to get in touch with what I’m truly after, so I can take tangible steps to make it happen. I believe in magic AND I believe that magic requires practice, presence, and consistency. No magic fountain or blossom peeking through the cement cracks will save us. As Alice Walker said, “WE are the ones we have been waiting for.” Pragmatic Positivity is an anecdote to Toxic Positivity. Pass it on 👉🏽✨ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk (📷: 💭ing of italy last spring)
𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘦? 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙚? Yes? 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? Sure. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭. WHAT I WANT TO SAY: You know, I find it really interesting that I never get these “compliments” when I’m walking with my husband or one of my male friends. And if I do, your words are not for me, they’re for THEM. Congratulating them on “catching” me. Your comment, while not overtly degrading or derogatory, reinforces that as a woman, I‘m a piece of property to be claimed. Itching to compliment me, a stranger on the street, walking my dog who really really has to poop? Have you asked yourself why? Do you want validation that I hear you, and your opinion matters to me? Do you want to assert dominance, giving me a compliment that’s not really a compliment but really a way for you exert your need to give approval or denial? Maybe you don’t mean any harm, and maybe you think you’re being a good person, even - but let’s think beyond YOU. What does it do for women in general if I respond to you? My response isn’t just for me. It reinforces that women are here for a reason, and that reason is you. My response reinforces that my value is in my beauty, and therefore refunforces that a woman’s value is in her beauty and her body. But if I tell you all this, I don’t know how you’ll respond. Will you yell at me? Will you harm me? Will you follow me home? If I ignore you, will you keep going? You are a complete stranger, and I’ve had enough scary experiences to be wary of speaking my mind or handing you a “teachable moment.” So.... WHAT I SAY: Thanks. Have a nice day. #stopstreetharassment #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
“Fearless is when the fear is less than the fait “Fearless is when the fear is less than the faith” isn’t just a power phrase - it’s also an equation. Lowering your fear is super hard. And tbh, I’d never advise anyone to write over their fear, and definitely wouldn’t ever order them to just “think positive” and ignore the rest. Fear is there for a reason. It’s a human emotion, just like the rest of them - anger, sadness, joy, etc - and each has its place and space. _ But...upping your faith? That’s simple. And there’s no more powerful way to tip the scales than to list out the ways you have faith in yourself. _ Every tiny thing you have faith in - notice it. It counts. And slowly, the fear-to-faith scales start to tip from the fear over to the faith ✨ What do you have faith in today when it comes to yourself? _ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk (P.s. if you’re not already following @womenagainstnegativetalk, go follow and share the goodness from over there!!! just began releasing new content to coincide with our Year 5 goals and I’m pretty stoked about it 😊)
THINGS I HAVE BEEN TOLD LATELY: — You’re prett THINGS I HAVE BEEN TOLD LATELY: — You’re pretty impressive. There’s nothing really unique about you. You’re amazing. You’re alright. You’re a breath of fresh air. You’re boring. You’re so determined and don’t miss a beat. You’re lagging a little. You have 10k Instagram followers? Big deal!! 😱🏆 You only have 10k Instagram followers. No big deal. 😒🙄 Your words are exactly what I need. Your words are too specific. You work too hard. You don’t work hard enough. Take care of yourself first. You’re being selfish. Be a rebel if you want to succeed. Play the game if you want to succeed. -— POINT BEING, there will ALWAYS be people out there who will have exactly opposing viewpoints of who you are, what you’re doing, and how you’re doing it. I’m a recovering people-pleaser and detoxed perfectionist with a personality that can get addicted to feedback and the quest to be best. It’s a constant process to separate what feedback is pure opinion and what actually has value, then looking deep inside and figuring out what I implement and how. __ But the most important thing is that whatever you’re doing, you keep your values and integrity intact. People will say what they will. They’ll think you’re the best thing since sliced (gf organic potato flour or whatever) bread 🍞 and they’ll also think you’re full of shit and undeserving of what you’ve worked hard to have (or maybe even think you don’t have much at all). __ Neither opinion really matters. I’m all about the results and the proof. And when I can stand by my choices and say I Did The Best I Could And Stayed True To Myself, I can actually see the results and the proof underneath all the other stuff. My way might not match up with Your way, and that’s fine by me. -— For anyone who needs to read this:Who You Are is pretty incredible. You are so very on purpose. I don’t know everything. But this, I know for sure. Please keep being You. #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself (p.s. remember speaking gigs and live events? 😭 Cannot WAIT to get back at it.)
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Change does not come from a singular something. It Change does not come from a singular something. It comes from all things. Never forget that you are an important part of the change equation. We need ALL lanes of work to create real, lasting change. “Ready to have your mind blown? Change does not come from something. It comes from all things. The insides, the outsides, the marriage of the two. There is possibility for change everywhere, and you never know for sure where you’ll find it.” -@womenagainstnegativetalk #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk #makeshifthappen
Maybe you’ve heard of #toxicpositivity...but how Maybe you’ve heard of #toxicpositivity...but how about PRAGMATIC positivity? Positivity isn’t about “making things okay,” or always looking at the “bright side.” No - that kind of positivity is empty, and dangerous. That kind of so-called positivity turns us away from reality, hinders our own growth (how can we learn and grow if we only know the brightest sides and bests?), and not just silences but completely invalidates the voices and experiences of others. #SpiritualBypassing and #toxicpositivity go hand in hand and get us nowhere. True positivity is rooted in PRAGMATISM. It’s rooted in reality, critical thinking, practical application, results, and consequences. Pragmatic Positivity recognizes the full spectrum of the human experience - the high highs, low lows, and everything in between - and chooses to move FORWARD proactively instead of retreating or turning away REACTIVELY. Toxic Positivity is problematic. But in order to do anything about ANYTHING that’s problematic, we must talk about the problem...AND work to identify and amplify solutions. Pragmatic Positivity is an anecdote to Toxic Positivity. Pass it on. 👉🏽Type YES if you agree ✨ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
“Fearless is when the fear is less than the fait “Fearless is when the fear is less than the faith” isn’t just a power phrase - it’s also an equation. Lowering your fear is super hard. And tbh, we’d never advise anyone to write over their fear, and definitely wouldn’t ever order them to just “think positive” and ignore the rest. Fear is there for a reason. It’s a human emotion, just like the rest of them - anger, sadness, joy, etc - and each has its place and space. _ But...upping your faith? That’s simple. And there’s no more powerful way to tip the scales than to list out the ways you have faith in yourself. _ Every tiny thing you have faith in - notice it. It counts. And slowly, the fear-to-faith scales start to tip from the fear over to the faith ✨ What do you have faith in today when it comes to yourself? _ #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
Mic drop courtesy of @abiolatv on the #WANTcast 👏🏽 Learning and research are important - but they’re not truly effective without corresponding actions. Always ask yourself: how can I take this information, and do something proactive with it? #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk
✨ THE SHIFT: Unconditional Self-Love vs Momentar ✨ THE SHIFT: Unconditional Self-Love vs Momentary Self-Like ✨ We often confuse ‘dislike’ for a lack of love - but think about your most enduring loves, from partners to friends to family. Just because you love them doesn’t mean that you always like what they do or how they show up. That’s normal. That’s human. The same applies to your Self. You don’t always have to LIKE everything about your Self in order to practice self-love. Self love is unconditional and unwavering - so to build it, find those things about who you are that you respect and honor no matter what life throws your way. #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #selftalk for more about shifting your self-talk, visit womenagainstnegativetalk.com
“Mean Girls” don’t just exist in the 18-and- “Mean Girls” don’t just exist in the 18-and-under set; they follow us throughout our young adulthood and into our lives. ADULT judgement and gossip, we forget, both have the exact same roots as their childhood origin: insecurity, ignorance, and a strong desire to remain top dog at any cost. And yet with that desire to be at the top comes a loneliness; an emptiness, lack of connection, and a distance between the person we project on the outside and the person we are (or long to be) on the inside. It drives us farther when all we truly want is to get closer. We begin to say we don’t care. We make “Whatever” or “Screw them” or “I don’t give a fuck” the catchphrase we tell everyone. But the irony is: we DO care. So. Much. In the words of @glennondoyle, “No woman on earth doesn’t give a fuck – no woman is that cool – she’s just hidden her fire. Likely, it’s burning her up.” #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
Intent is not much if the impact doesn’t align.‬ ‪“But I meant this to be...” isn’t a valid argument.‬ ‪If you want something to have a certain effect and it doesn’t, and you’re not willing to change the action to get the intended impact, then it wasn’t ever really about the intention at all.‬ ‪ Integrity: when your intentions and your impact are in alignment. When what you think, what you say, and what you do actually match up 💛 #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself #integrity
QUESTION: How do you avoid spiraling when you acci QUESTION: How do you avoid spiraling when you accidentally take a step back in the growth you’re working on? A: @brenebrown says 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨: 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙮, 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣. Try to tell someone in your very innermost circle (that you love/trust) about it so the shame/guilt spiral doesn’t sit, grow, and fester - whether it’s a partner or a therapist or even just yourself in a journal. Dwell on it as a learning moment - and do your best to reframe it as ‘notes’ for your future self on how to adjust and do better. Look at whatever you’re feeling shame around, and formulate what you could say or do next time (instead of thinking back to and reverting emotionally to the moment you’re in currently). Read. Google. Learn, absorb, and apply instead of shaming yourself into silence or jumping to justification (bc neither will get you anywhere) 〰️ And then....do something you KNOW you excel at. Writing. Running. Anything that can help you redirect + reshape your self-deprecating energy into something USEFUL. Don’t write OVER the moment...move THROUGH it, allowing it to teach you what it needs to, and then be proactive, not reactive. 𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘪𝘯; 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯. 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦. -𝘌𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
We think a future version of our Self will know be We think a future version of our Self will know better. Be stronger. Speak louder. Or that one day, we’ll be successful or self-actualized ‘enough’ to say what we truly mean instead of what we think checks all the right boxes. The stakes are too high right now, we convince ourselves. I don’t know enough yet. Like once we achieve a very specific self-dictated level of success or expertise, the conversational doors will fly open. When that happens, we say, we’ll use our voice. We’ll talk about the things that matter. Systemic racism. Gender disparities. Wage gaps. Mental health. When, when, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯.   𝗬𝗲𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣, 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀, 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗼. Each time we say 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯, we reinforce the narrative in our mind that the ‘right’ time is far off in the distance. 
Imagine if everyone in the world waited until their own self-determined ‘day whens.’ We would never have any change or progress. We would spend our years waiting around and call that a life. #womenagainstnegativetalk #WANTyourself
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