One Year.

One Year.

Community Love Motivation + Inspiration Shift Of Power

One Year Ago this week,
I moved across the country.

stuff on stuff on stuff
last night on the roof
lunch with mom before the big day

I moved with my then boyfriend, now fiancé, future husband. I moved with my then purpose, now career, future calling. I moved with no expectations, some trepidations, and an enormity of determinations.

One Year Ago this week I fulfilled the choice to choose my life. I could have said no, I could have said wait. But it’s easy to say no when you should say yes, just like it’s easy to say yes when you really should say no.

One Year Ago this week my heart started beating a little faster, and my mind started to go a little slower. The pace around me started to move quicker but the pace inside me started to calm.

One Year has brought so much to the forefront and sunken so much into the background noise. The things I thought mattered some matter less, and the things I thought mattered most matter way more than I thought they did.

It’s crazy to look back a photos and feel the shift One Year has brought. Was it because of my age? Was it because I was ready? No, I don’t think that was it. I think I wrung all the lessons, all the love, all the heartache and heart-aid out of my surroundings – and the only way to grow was to shift my perspective. Through a turn of the kaleidescope, it’s amazing how the same-old can become completely forgeign all over again. Through a different lense, it’s amazing how many things become dimmer than you knew them to be.

Or brighter.

Or maybe both at once.

everything was so exciting to me. even the metro cards. especially the metro cards.

I don’t think we need to change our physical surroundings to see a shift in our lives, but man oh man did it help me. To think our opinions are ultimate or our perceptions final is to be naive and stubborn. Here, I realize that while your word is your truth, it’s also his, and hers, and theirs, and it’s how we all come together that breeds true enlightenment.

Marianne Williamson says, “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” And that’s true. But it’s also what ILLUMINATES us. The light and the dark together. And what’s more, how we all move in tandem. It’s not just our light or our darkness, but the way our beams bounce off one another.

It's not just our light or our darkness, but the way our beams bounce off one another. Click To Tweet

In my dreams, I always lived in New York City. A thriving Broadway career, an apartment in I Don’t Even Know Where. In my dreams I didn’t know how anything fit together, I just knew the One Thing of my success led the way. In my realities, I am here. I rarely visit a Broadway stage (something I DO want to change in Year Two) but I’ve found the stages that suit me best. In my realities I cannot quite believe how seamlessly it’s all flowed, how I managed to fight for a sense of community and actually achieve it, how I managed to fight for a career and actually own it, how I managed to fight for a lifestyle of river runs and sweet potato fries and Adventure Sundays and yes – I’m actually in the adventure every day.

And I am in it, I think, because I’ve always been fighting for it, not against it. I’ve learned how to be malleable but true to my heart. I’ve learned how to bend but not break.

And most of all, I’ve learned that challenge begets change, but also begets truth. In my life thus far, I’ve asked for truth and learned how to see it as my ally. Even the truths I would rather not see. Even the truths that hurt. I ask more questions instead of fighting against the answers that pain me. I have fought for a life that rings true each day, and in One Year I now see it before me. It’s not something I take lightly or take for granted.

my very first friendsgiving.


Spoiler: Relationships are not supposed to be easy.
With cities, with people, it’s all the same. You’re supposed to push each other, but in the best way. You’re supposed to help each other see the best in themselves but also the misalignments. Ultimately, you’re here to help one another not only recognize your values but live them out loud. In what you say, in what you do. You’re here to be the bridge between seeing and believing. Between dreaming and doing. And that is not easy work.

And, ANOTHER SPOILER, the work isn’t work to MAKE it easy. It’s work to beget more intricate and nuanced work.

It’s trust work. It’s truth work. It’s the best work ever.


us, 2.0 (or 3.0, depending on your timeline)

And so here I am, One Year After packing the boxes and shipping the bins. One Year After that feeling of readiness and maturity but also of complete surrender. It has not been easy, and it hasn’t always been fun. But it’s been soul-stirring, and it’s been soul-lifting, and it’s brought me in touch with a deeper layer of myself I didn’t even know was there. And anyway, I don’t want easy. I want right.

unsolicited advice

it’s all still a thrill.

To grow, we must stay aware. And to stay aware, we must stay awake. And to stay awake, we must challenge ourselves to displace our gaze. If you always ride the same waves, you’ll never truly see the spectrum.

Once you learn the thing, once you get the stuff, once you master the immediate, where do you go from there?

One Year Later, I’m living the answer:

You exhale fully, slowly, and calmly, and you shift the kalediscope.



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The WANT Women: Erin Bagwell on Determination, Depression, and Dreaming Big

The WANT Women: Erin Bagwell on Determination, Depression, and Dreaming Big

Community WANT Women Work

As a brand new New Yorker (well…I’m getting there!), I’m realizing now more than ever the power in the pack. Whether it’s a group of tight-knit friends or just familiar faces walking through the gym, I feel the most productive, passionate, and generaly my very best self when I am surrounded by like-minded souls. Call it a tribe, call it a community, call it whatever you want – there is so much that comes to life, both within and outside us, when we find our peeps.

For my entire adult life, I’ve been searching for that thing to call my own. When WANT was born, it was like finding a piece of myself I didn’t know was able to exist. I wanted to be a leader, but didn’t want to be my then-boss. I wanted to help women be their fullest, most actualized selves, but I didn’t want to be a “life coach.” I wanted to write, to speak, to make, to shift, but I didn’t want to be a “freelancer.” I only knew how I wanted to feel, what I wanted to shift, and why I knew I needed to do it. I was craving a space to create major change – but I didn’t know how it would come to life.

A big part of this? I wasn’t seeing or hearing stories of women like me – women who wanted to create, expand, and flourish…on their own terms.

Oh how I wish the messages and mission in Dream, Girl had been around to carry with me in my back pocket during that intense (and confusing!) period of my life.

dream-girl

Dream, Girl is a documentary that tells the inspiring stories of female entrepreneurs and CEOs in order to empower the next generation of girl bosses to dream bigger. It follows the stories of these amazing, ambitious women who work in everything from brand new startups to million dollar industries. The Dream, Girl mission is all about showing girls what it means to be a leader, not just telling them they can be anything they want and leaving it there.

You might remember meeting Dream, Girl’s producer Komal on the WANTcast earlier this year.

Today, just one week shy of Dream, Girl’s official premiere, we’re diving in and digging deep with Dream, Girl’s director and creator, Erin Bagwell.
I wish that more women became their own role models. - @erinebagwell, @dreamgirlfilm Click To Tweet
Erin is a feminist blogger and filmmaker from Brooklyn. After founding Feminist Wednesday, a feminist storytelling blog, and conducting numerous interviews with female founders and CEOS, she realized there was a huge gap to fill when it came to inspiring women to be bolder, bet higher, and truly blaze their own path. The idea for Dream, Girl was born – and after raising over $100K on Kickstarter in less than one month, Erin, Komal, and the Dream, Girl team were officially making moves.

Fast forward to today, and Dream, Girl has been covered by Forbes, Upworthy, The Huffington Post, Fox Business, Elle Magazine, and more. Erin and Komal have been featured by Clinique in their #smartideas campaign in partnership with TED. And if that wasn’t enough, the final product has been screened at the freaking White House – all before its official premiere at the Paris Theater in NYC on June 9th.

Watching Erin’s dream come to life has inspired me in a way I’ve never been inspired before: here is a woman around my age, who thinks like me, talks like me, and dreams like me. Here is a woman who had a seed of an idea and the bravery to put in the heavy lifting to make it blossom. Here is a woman who is badass to the bone, inclusive to the core, and maybe most importantly, believes in what is possible when we believe in not only each other, but ourselves.
My body is my center, my shell, my gift wrap, my powerhouse. -@erinebagwell, @dreamgirlfilm Click To Tweet
Being a woman is like being a part of a collective. We’re not just forces to be reckoned with, we’re leaders in our own right who are able to shift the world by working in unison. We are inherently inclusive by nature, although the society we live in sometimes seems like it would rather us exclude others and compete for space. Dream, Girl shows us our fellow women, our fellow tribemates, our fellow LEADERS, all defining their own hustle and lifting other women up with them along the way.

WANT to attend the world premiere next week? Click here for all the deets. Until then…

WANT ERIN.

Erin_Headshot


Name: Erin Bagwell


How you’d know me (occupation or role): Founder of Feminist Wednesday (a feminist storytelling blog powered by beavers) & the Director of Dream, Girl (the documentary showcasing the stories of inspiring and ambitious female entrepreneurs)


What I love about myself (and why): My determination and ability to get things accomplished. I don’t spend a lot of time questioning myself or why I want to do something – I just do it.


What is your definition of “positivity?” Being grateful.


When did you start to love yourself – did you have a self-love “turning point?” I’m constantly discovering and exploring self-love. I make it a practice to try to find things that inspire and keep me passionate, which gravitates me towards a lot of love.


How/where negative talk shows up in my life: When I stop doing the work and start questioning if I’m the person who should be doing it.


When I talk negatively about myself, it’s usually… About financial instability and money.


When others talk negatively about themselves… I tune it out :-p

Marie Forleo Interview 33 (1)


It baffles me that women still… Get paid less, get objectified, fear walking home at night, get genitally mutilated, become child brides, fear being a woman.


I wish that more women… Became their own role models.


The coolest thing about women is… That their stories are still waiting to be unearthed.


My favorite way to shift a negative into a positive: To be grateful for what I have.


My top female role models: My mother and my business partner Komal Minhas


Men can help women crush their negative talk patterns by… I think it depends who the man is and what his role is in her life. I think negative talk stems from a personal burden or scar that one must heal on her own, so just listening and being supportive and not judgmental would be nice?


Favorite negativity-busting activity: Meditating


Fave self-love ritual: Getting my nails done


Favorite feel-good food(s): Ramen or french fries


Favorite movie(s) to watch when I’m feeling down: Sex & the City (not a movie but my favorite thing to turn on anytime)


Favorite empowering book(s): Big Magic, The life-changing magic of tidying up


My feel-good playlist: No Nets

white house


Advice I would give my
…4 year old self: keep crushing
…14 year-old self: depression isn’t something you should be ashamed of
…24 year old self: keep looking for what inspires you


5 Things, personal or professional, on my bucket list:
– have a child
– win an oscar
– buy a house
– make a million dollars
– produce 20 films in my lifetime


My best tip on self love: Forgive yourself


When I truly love all of myself… I allow myself to have fun and be goofy


Right now, I am most excited about… FINISHING THIS MOVIE


My body is: My center, my shell, my gift wrap, my powerhouse


Three words to describe me: Creative, passionate, hard working


Current mantra: Let it go

DirectorErinBagwell

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