WANTcast 063: Let Go and Let GOAL with Goal Coach Jacki Carr

WANTcast 063: Let Go and Let GOAL with Goal Coach Jacki Carr

the WANTcast

Jacki Carr is a goal coach, writer, motivational speaker, and co-founder of Rock Your Bliss, which offers radical coaching to help you design a life that…well…rocks your bliss. As a leader in transformation, her coaching style includes real + honest conversations and true connection to your most powerful and whole self.

She is a Lightyear Leadership faculty member, helping people to lead themselves to leave a legacy of their own design. She has worked with companies such as Patagonia, lululemon and NIKE on Leadership and Personal Responsibility. She believes in a World where we all truly belong and each and every one of us has unique gifts to contribute.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• What’s the anatomy of a good goal?
• How to goal set BIG if you’re good at the micro/immediate goals, and SMALL if youre a big-picture person
• How to be a goal GETTER instead of just a goal SETTER
• Moving forward after failure: what to do when you set a goal and don’t achieve it
• Post-goal life: what do you do after you get the thing you wanted?
• Goals with negative language – are they okay?
• Goal laziness and goal obsessiveness

Plus building community LATER in life, and friends vs community – how to find your people when it feels like everyone else has found theirs.

WANT Jacki:

Words are just words until we attach meaning to them. - @jackicarr Click To Tweet
I use the word failure often. Because the more I use it, the less I'm afraid of it. - @jackicarr Click To Tweet

SHOW NOTES:
Jacki’s site
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Rock Your Bliss
Episode 006
Lightyear Leadership
Living Beautifully With Uncertainty And Change
Core Values Word Bank

Like this episode? Take a screenshot + share on social, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast and #womenagainstnegativetalk!

This week’s WANTcast is sponsored by Care/of, a monthly subscription vitamin service that delivers completely personalized vitamin and supplement packs right to your door. Take advantage of this month’s special New Year offer! For 50% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter WANT50.

 

Baby One More Time: Extroverts, Introverts, and Turning FOMO to JOMO with Jacki Carr

Baby One More Time: Extroverts, Introverts, and Turning FOMO to JOMO with Jacki Carr

the WANTcast

BABY ONE MORE TIME is the WANTcast’s take on “Greatest Hits” or “Best Of” episodes: conversations that were so awesome the first time around, we needed to bring them back!

Missed it the first time around? We’re back with a remastered version. Loved it back in the day? Re-listen and re-love it (and maybe pick up on some gems you didn’t hear when we first aired).

Like leaves on trees, you can let the goals that don't serve you anymore GO. - @jackicarr Click To Tweet

Jacki Carr is a goal coach, motivational speaker, and leadership consultant. She’s become a highly sought-after pro in her arena who’s helped hundreds of people across the globe not only reach their goals, but actually craft exactly what those goals look like, why they matter, and a path to them that is unique to every single person – personal goals, professional goals, and everything in between.

What I love is that Jacki’s not a life coach, and she’s not a therapist: she’s got a passion for GOAL SETTING and ACHIEVING specifically that just exudes from every single thing she does. I found this episode not just uplifting… but action-inspiring. Listening back on this episode made me reflect on my own goals and visions, and how I can use what I’ve been given to make my own unique impact both personally and professionally. I thought about the stages I’ve been through, and what kinds of changes I might want to make in the future. Hopefully, it’ll do the same for you too.

WANT Jacki:

Show Notes:
Jacki’s site
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Rock Your Bliss
Quiet by Susan Cain
Creative Start podcast with Jacki

igolu
Rock Your Bliss on WANT


Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes, share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself!

The WANTcast Episode 006: On Extroversion, Introversion + Rebranding Your Life with Jacki Carr

The WANTcast Episode 006: On Extroversion, Introversion + Rebranding Your Life with Jacki Carr

Community Love the WANTcast Work

Today’s WANTcast guest is someone who’s been on my list for a while now: goal coach Jacki Carr.

In a nutshell: Jacki’s become a highly sought-after pro in her arena who’s helped hundreds of people across the globe not only reach their goals, but actually craft exactly what those goals look like, why they matter, and a path to them that is unique to every single person – personal goals, professional goals, whatever.

I’ve met a lot of fantastic people over the internet through the years (holy jeez, just realized I made my first virtual friend at 12. Almost two decades. How did that happen?! [ps. it was a 14 year old girl who loved RENT as much as I did, natch]). What’s interesting about Jacki is that we actually should have met in person. We’ve got about a zillion mutual friends, from fitness instructors we’ve both worked with to former Lululemon employees (Jacki used to work for Lulu) to various personalities in the Venice/Santa Monica region (where we both called home for one point in time), even people I’ve met through work that I’d never expect to have a mutual connection with – Jacki is our mutual connection.

And it’s not hard to see why: Jacki is gregarious to the core and electricity personified. People who meet her are swept up by her enthusiastic and vivacious personality and get hooked on her attention connection. In other words, they come for the spark and stay for the soul. Jacki has the ability to bring out the best in whoever she meets, whether it’s in person or virtually.

jacki-carr

And yet, we’d never met. I was nervous to talk to her one-on-one for the very first time, as when you’ve connected with someone from afar you sometimes get nervous it won’t be that great in person…

Boy, was I wrong. We chatted like old friends, and it truly felt like I’d known her a lifetime ago. I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way, which is why I think Jacki is such a powerhouse: she makes everyone around her feel like family.

The way I structure my podcasts is very, very loosely – I do a bit of research, I gather a few points I’d like to discuss, and then we just go. I end up rarely needing my notes, as each conversation unfolds so beautifully and naturally, and the women on the WANTcast really have a knack for being a next-level open book. With Jacki, it was just like that. I’d read somewhere that she identified with being an extrovert while her best friend and business partner, Mary Beth LaRue, was an introvert, and as an introvert myself, I was curious to hear the other side of the story when it comes to relationships with different personality types. What unfolded was even better than what I could have imagined. Her husband, turns out, is an introvert as well, and Jacki and I got to dive into the nuances of what happens when we’re with our opposites, both in love and in life. Having grown up in an entirely extroverted family and always been attracted to extroverted personalities, I was sucked in by this (in a good way!).

Other big things we talked about? Making friends later in life. As Jacki put it, “making new friends in your 30s is gnarly.” She’s just relocated to Denver after living in LA for quite some time, and we got down and dirty into the topic of navigating life transitions, from business rebranding to personal rebranding to pregnancy and even those little-big stages we all go through in life. Basically, the through-line of this episode comes down to one thing: rebranding your life.

jacki_carr

What I love is that Jacki’s not a life coach, and she’s not a therapist, she’s got a passion for GOAL SETTING and ACHIEVING specifically that just exudes from every single thing she does. I found this episode not just uplifting… but I was sitting for a WHILE after this call reflecting on my own goals and visions, and how I can use what I’ve been given to make my own unique impact both personally and professionally. I thought about the stages I’ve been through, and what kinds of changes I might want to make in the future. Hopefully, it’ll do the same for you too.

*Little note: this is technically supposed to be the last episode of 2015, but I’m thinking that maybe we throw in an extra episode before the year is up! Not really sure what that looks like yet, but if you’d like that extra episode, shoot me a tweet, or leave me an Instagram comment and just say “YES!” I’ll know what you mean.

On with the show…

WANT JACKI:

Play in new window | Download

Show Notes:
Jacki’s site
Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Rock Your Bliss
Quiet by Susan Cain
Creative Start podcast with Jacki

igolu
Rock Your Bliss on WANT

Some Tweetables:

I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but the peoples cup of tea that I AM, keep it pouring. -@jackicarr Click To Tweet

You will connect with your people. Some people will connect with other people. Thats a beautiful thing. -@jackicarr Click To Tweet

Like leaves on trees, you can let the goals+visions+legacies that don't serve you anymore go. -@jackicarr Click To Tweet

The WANT Women: Jacki Carr + Mary Beth LaRue On Curiosity, Belonging, and Rocking Your Bliss

The WANT Women: Jacki Carr + Mary Beth LaRue On Curiosity, Belonging, and Rocking Your Bliss

WANT Women

It’s not happiness. It’s not enjoyment. It’s BLISS. Just reading the word is an experience itself, loaded with thoughts and feelings you sense more than see.I wonder if people centuries ago were as concerned with “bliss” as we are today – we seem to have evolved into a society that craves to feel even if we don’t quite know what feeling we’re after. A summer day laying on the grass. A bite of peppermint ice cream so good you don’t even care about the brain freeze. Your partner’s arm that unexpectedly drifts around you. Bliss is at home, at work, working for a brand or going off on your own.

Jacki Carr and Mary Beth LaRue have experienced both of the latter and everything in between. Each of these women, in their own ways, moved through the steps that life expects of us – the glossy job, the security, the benefits – and each had their own realization that they wanted something more. Something that resonated and shook them open. They were after that powerful, pounding feeling of living life on their own terms; had an inkling their through line and purpose were something more, and didn’t live at a desk from nine to five.

mary beth larue jacki carr rock your bliss


The result? Rock Your Bliss: a mash-up of intricate goal coaching, highly personalized life design, and yoga both on and off the mat. It’s got you covered whether you’re looking to create or build your brand, lack certainty in your life’s trajectory, or simply want to get to know yourself a little better than you did yesterday – through workshops, retreats, events, and one-on-one jam sessions hell bent on unearthing the ways you can shine. Bliss, Jacki and Mary Beth argue, isn’t about following a formula or predetermined set of rules, it’s about finding what speaks to you on a soul level and then letting that steer the way.

I absolutely love both of these two women – mainly because (well, no, that’s not true, I love them ’cause they’re rad all-around) they were such an inspiration to me when I was beginning to conceptualize WANT and my own mission. I’d met MB through a fitness studio I used to work at and only knew Jacki through the six-degrees-of-separation that is the wellness community in Los Angeles, but watching them from afar build their brand and act on their vision, in a way that was so in line with who they were out in the world, was a constant reminder to me that passion grows from the inside out, and when that passion becomes too powerful and huge to remain in your head-heart-guts, it is your duty as a human being to let that sucker out in the open and LIVE.

I’m so thrilled to be introducing you to these ladies, and hope they help you rock your bliss, too.

WANT Jacki and Mary Beth.

jacki carr mary beth larue


Names: Jacki Carr + Mary Beth LaRue


How you’d know me:
JC: Goal Coach, Brand Consultant, Co-Founder of Rock Your Bliss
MBLR: Yoga Teacher, Coach and Co-Founder of Rock Your Bliss


What I love about myself (and why):
JC: I love my confidence, the creative chaos and my current curiosity in love. Pretty outspoken as a human being, I love the confidence part because it allows me to be wholly and unapologetically me. I wear neon and karaoke – that is just a fun life. The creative chaos part, my brain has a lot of tabs open. I love to read, I love to explore nature, I love to be energized. I don’t do boring well, the whole idle hands thing and sitting still is boring to me. I am learning to embrace a mindful chaos that allows me to be crazy and creative at the same time. Where I found that I was trying to slow down, meditate and be yogic in a more socially acceptable way, it doesn’t really work like that for me. See neon and karaoke above. Finally, I love being curious in love because it allows me to always be learning about myself, my husband, and relationships. I am a newlywed, so getting curious is probably the best way to explore this radical commitment and be in inquiry versus judgment.

MBLR: My willingness to get vulnerable. How much I love to laugh and play. My creativity.


What is your definition of “positivity?”
JC: My definition of positivity is the ability to see all angles and perspectives – I am talking the rainbow colored glasses and the reality check. From there, being positive is choosing the thought/action that calls in joy. Period.

MBLR: Choosing thoughts, perspectives and ways of being that lift my energy rather than deplete it.


When did you start to love yourself – did you have a self-love “turning point?”
JC: Wow, brilliant question. I had a best friend in high school, Zoe who taught me about self love. Probably Junior year, so age 17, we both were uber athletes, she played soccer and I play volleyball and softball. She was more in the cool crowd and I was figuring it all out with puberty, ego, wanting straight As while juggling sports and family. We both had a muscular builds – like, cereal-box type bodies (and yes, I am talking square shape and pretty flat. Late bloomers. Really late) – with really muscular thighs, and I will be real: we could eat a lot of food. Like, an embarrassing amount. Considering we were both doing two-a-day workouts, we were burning calories like whoa.

When we became best friends that year – you know that moment, like in Step Brothers, ‘Did we just become best friends?’, yes that moment – we named ourselves Team Hauss. Keep in mind, this was way before CrossFit came around with their tagline, ‘Strong is the new skinny’ – we were WAY out of the norm from the ’90s string-bean model ideals. And for me, there was a moment there of radiant acceptance of myself, my body shape, my actions, my ability to eat a lot of food and not feel bad about it, and my athleticism in that connection. Though we looked different than the magazine and a lot of our friends, we were ourselves. I am so grateful to have been a member of Team Hauss, it was a gamechanger for me.

MBLR: The summer I moved to NYC to work at JANE Magazine. I’d struggled with body image and eating disorders for years and that summer I gave myself permission to fall in love with life, and in turn myself, again. Rather than restricting and beating myself up I allowed myself whatever I wanted and however much I wanted. Some days it was a big crunchy salad and a green juice and other days a grilled cheese and a beer. As I explored the city I found some many new facets to myself and started to really truly grow into the woman I am today.

rockyourbliss


How/where negative talk shows up in my life:
JC: Negative self talk shows up the most in my relationship with money and in my career. I own my own businesses and the common questions, ‘Am I doing it right?’, “Am I doing enough?”, “Do people like me?” circle my brain all too often. I am unraveling a pattern of self worth and dollar bills. The other area would be in physical appearance. My body has changed with age, word on the street is this is pretty par for the course of life. The negative self talks comes with skin issues, being hard on myself with a workout ritual that I enjoy and moving with the ebb and flow of time. Where I used to dig power yoga in my 20s, now I crave yin yoga in my 30’s. Who knew?

MBLR: Anytime comparing comes into play. I keep that on a pretty short leash these days and honestly deal with it very little.


When I talk negatively about myself, it’s usually…
JC: …really mean, almost a bully-like nature. It is like there is this perfectionist gremlin that sneaks in criticizing everything and makes fun of me. A total jerk of a voice.

MBLR: My body.


When others talk negatively about themselves…
JC: …I remind them that our language creates our reality. Be aware and uber selective with language you speak inwards and outwards.

MBLR: …it makes me really sad because those words start to take root, even if you think you are just doing it in jest.


It baffles me that women still…
JC: …have to fight for a voice to be heard in society. I know it has and is continuing to shift, however, what a creative and beautiful wealth of knowledge being stifled by old school ways of thinking, patterns that run deep and societal pressures of what it means to be female. And I am not pointing fingers; this is an internal and external game in all of us. Myself, included.

MBLR: …gossip. Body shame. Diet (big difference between dieting and eating healthily.)


I wish that more women…
JC: …knew that we are all in this together.

MBLR: …celebrated themselves AND other women.


The coolest thing about women is…
JC: Many, many cool factors going on here. However, the fact that women can be in a powerful conversation with another human being, be it at work in the boardroom, on an adventure in nature or with ourselves in a bathtub and simultaneously be creating life within our own bodies over the course of 9 months. This literally blows my mind and I have yet to even do it. Women rule.

MBLR: our ability to nurture and create.

IMG_1799


My favorite way to shift a negative into a positive:
JC: I do love making shift happen and I have a go-to list to do so depending on the situation. My favorite example is a pact I made with my husband when we are arguing or annoyed with one another is to call a make out session. We have to just go for it, French kiss and all, when anyone calls it. There is something in the human connection that releases the fight or flight armor and we can get real, get loved and have an actual conversation.

MBLR: SWEAT.


My top female role models:
JC: My Mother, Marti Carr, all the way, Brene Brown, and Susanne Conrad

MBLR: Drew Barrymore, Elena Brower, Kathryn Budig, Byron Katie


Men can help women crush their negative talk patterns by…
JC: …again, knowing we are all in this together. I am talking the mentality of teamwork, high fives and head nods. Team Human Beings: we all belong.

MBLR: …compassionately catching it and helping us flip it around.


Favorite negativity-busting activity:
JC: A run. The accessibility of running really makes it so brilliant for the shift. Any time, anywhere, move your legs, sweat out that lame story you keep replaying your head, preferably in some sweet Nike kicks. Go.

MBLR: Dance party.


Fave self-love ritual:
JC: Roaming where the WiFi is weak in nature, on a mountain, in a trucker hat.

MBLR: Bubble bath.


Favorite feel-good food(s):
JC: Peanut Butter out of the container with any utensil. One ice cold beer in a koozie in the sunshine. String Cheese any time. A s’more via campfire.

MBLR: A massive salad and a Lemon Ginger juice. Less healthy: nachos (I fucking love nachos!)


Favorite movie(s) to watch when I’m feeling down:
JC: I rarely turn to television. Ever. However, I do love me a John Hughes film, like ‘The Great Outdoors’.

MBLR: Dirty Dancing


Favorite empowering book(s):
JC: Brene Brown’s ‘The Gifts of Imperfection,’ Anodea Juidth’s ‘Eastern Body, Western Mind,’ Paulo Coehlo’s ‘The Alchemist.’

MBLR: Anything by Byron Katie.
ryb-books


My feel-good playlist:
JC:
John Mellencamp, Jack & Diane
Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror
Alexi Murdoch, Orange Sky
Steve Winwood, Higher Love
Chaka Khan, I’m Every Woman
Des’ree, You Gotta Be
Journey, Don’t Stop Believing
Ben Howard, Old Pine
Garth Brooks, Standing Outside the Fire (LIVE in Ireland)

MBLR:
Motown all the way


Advice I would give my…
…4 year old self:
JC: Go outside and play barefoot. Stomp in the puddles!
MBLR: Play

…14 year-old self:
JC: Padded bras, not necessary. I pinky promise.
MBLR: Be gentle

…24 year old self:
JC: You belong, stop proving already. Side hugs are lame, go all in.
MBLR: The world is your oyster


5 Things, personal or professional, on my bucket list:
JC: Visit every US National Park with my husband, Chris. Celebrate a 50 Year Wedding Anniversary (with my husband, obvi). Pay for my little sister’s college (she is 17, coming in hot). Write a book. Buy an A-frame pop-up camper for summer road trips with my (future) kiddos!

MBLR: Travel to Bali. Road trip from Vancouver to Baja with my husband, our bulldog and our baby. Work full-time for Rock Your Bliss with Jacki Carr. Live in Sayulita a few months out of the year.
rockyourbliss


My best tip on self love:
JC: First things first, define what self love means to you. It is different for every single human being. Now, put it on the calendar. Seriously, schedule YOU in your own calendar and commit fully to that space/time/moment. This week, I have yin yoga, a reading date with myself and string cheese in the fridge for the off-the-calendar type of self love.

MBLR: Unlearn bad patterns of speaking to yourself and learn to speak to yourself from a space of compassion, spaciousness and ease.


When I truly love all of myself…
JC: That song Alicia Keys sings, “This Girl is on Fire.” That is my theme song when I am all in love of the Self.

MBLR: …everything is easy.


Right now, I am most excited about…
JC: …creating a future I and we love with my husband. Something about marriage has me really focused on our future, our family, our saving account, our ability to be present in the moment and our connection to one another. It feels exciting to get curious about love and all the possibilities, be it how we speak our goals, how we fuel our bodies, how we raise the dogs…all of it. I am all in and super stoked.

MBLR: …my family. And Rock Your Bliss.


My body is:
JC: HOME. A space to live in, listen to, learn from, connect deeper and show up to the World.

MBLR: Bountiful.


Three words to describe me:
JC: Confident. Connector. Vibrant.

MBLR: Creative. All heart.


Current mantra:
JC: I belong, now. And now. And now.

MBLR: Happiness Equals Reality Minus Expectations.

rockyourbliss


WANT YOURSELF:
Loved Jacki and MB’s answers to this one, so now I want to hear from you in the comments…
What is YOUR definition of “positivity?”


photo credits: Danielle Doby, Rock Your Bliss